so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Randomize
