this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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