I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Randomize
