is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
