A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
