I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
