dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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