Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Randomize
