ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Randomize
