How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
