That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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