I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
