Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
tell me about the eggs
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
