the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
