every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
