So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
