Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
