if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
