I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
