Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize
