It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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