Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
