Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
