i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
