weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Fuck appropriateness.
so let's talk penis.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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