How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Randomize
