how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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