God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
