If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Randomize
