Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
babies were throwing up all over the place
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Holy shit dude........stairs
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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