wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
