i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
