i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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