I'm really into asian looking animals
I accidentally had phone sex last night
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I fill condoms, not promises.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Randomize
