so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
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