I skipped work to stalk him.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
