You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Randomize
