kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
So apparently I’m into choking now
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
