I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
