It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
