whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
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