they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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