A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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