You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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