I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize