Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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