i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
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