Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
