Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
