Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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