No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
